what now?

well, it's done.

after a long day of sitting totally by myself, dutifully tap-tap-tapping away on the keyboard, i told bossman that it wasn't working out for me. i guess he was very  happy with how i was doing, and impressed with my amazing typing skills, and sad to hear that i wasn't going to stick around and be his partner. i felt like such a schmuck - after being alone all day with only the cats to meow at, i was very happy to talk to him; he was happy to be home after being on the run all day. we were both in good mood but i had to go and ruin it. it made me almost reconsider quitting, because i really like the guy and think he is a great person providing a great service... i just know that it's not for me. i am either done at the end of the week, or in two weeks if nobody takes the job right away.

back to square one. what now?

bought a book on how to write magazine articles. in case ya'll haven't noticed, i enjoy writing. i almost thought about studying that in college. then again, i thought about studying engineering, architecture, landscape architecture, art, and music in college so i guess that doesn't really mean much. ;)  i don't think i'll ever have just ONE job for the rest of my life, unless it's a job that provides a variety of opportunities for me. i just get too bored too fast.

semi-related subject... so i had shown my cityworker friends some of the pictures i wanted to submit to the contest, and they of course wanted a copy for themselves. i was a bit hesitant but let them print up a spicy picture - not too revealing or anything, but still i have all this makeup on and cleavage everywhere - and i said DONT LET ANYONE FIND THIS! what happens? their boss finds it. the sexist boss that hates me (and i hate him). sometimes i want to punch tillman right in the MOUF. evil pigboss of course starts drilling tillman for answers and trying to see if i sent it over email. if i sent it over email then i'd get in trouble, see. but ah-ha! i did not do such a thing. rot in hell, pigboss.

quitter

shh, don't tell anyone. i have a secret.

i'm quitting my job.

GASP! look, i've gone and done it again. sorry kids, i don't settle for crappy jobs. if i remember correctly, i applied (and accepted) a restoration assistant job.

sounds like a fancy name for "secretary" if you ask me. anyone who knows me can understand how much of a mismatch that would be.

lisa is to secretary as george w is to president

i think you get the picture.

yeah i dont want to linger on it any longer, but that hour drive gave me plenty of time to reflect on the past week. lots and lots of LB (little bitch) duties. But i need to put that out of my mind (serenity now! serenity now!), lest i be awake all night, simmering in my anxiety. it sounded so good on paper! but between the insane commute (i'd probably die in a bout of road rage if i kept it up much longer anyway!), sitting on my arsch and answering phone messages like a secretary... i could get paid a lot more - with benefits - if i did the same thing thru Kelly Temp. It's like the secretaries at doctor's offices - just because they work there, doesn't make them doctors. just because they understand the lingo doesn't mean they can diagnose. i want to be an enviro consultant, not a seed-mixing, inventory-processing, fax wench!

see, look, there i go again. getting myself all riled up.

putting in my two weeks notice is going to suck. i'm also ticked because he wants me to make a 1 1/2 hr powerpoint presentation for a bunch of high-roller professionals. in my eyes, i dont get paid enough considering the knowledge i need to do it.

think good thoughts... happy thoughts.... well guess i can finish my parents' taxes. maybe start my freelance writing career.

you know what? it actually  makes me excited to think i might be doing landscaping again. maybe part time landscape, then volunteer at the wildlife rehab center... or even better, get the zoo job!

marc is gonna love it when he finds out i am quitting. he was surprised i lasted 3 days at that job. did i mention i have ADHD and can't sit still?

... starting to think i pinched a nerve in my neck from that hockey incident... my right side of my head is kindof numb. is that a bad thing??

keep on truckin'

believe it or not, it has been hard to find the time to write in this thing. it's not that it takes a long time to write... it's just my mind is running in its own time zone, and it's not used to putting my personal thoughts on hold during work. so by the time i get home, my brain just doesn't want to take the time to sit down and organize my thoughts in a readable, writeable manner.

i mean, just read how sloppy my entries have been since i started working last week. case point. i just wasn't meant to work, that's all.

i was meant to play. all day. every day. and get paid for it. when somebody figures out how to do this, let me know. it worked while i was on unemployment, but the government is only so generous.

maybe it's because of the hit i took/brought upon myself at hockey on sunday, but there is something jingling around loose inside my brain right now, making me unable to write coherently. i swear, i am my own worse enemy at hockey. i can't stop very well anyway, plus my skates are very dull and well, it's fun to run into people... it was a pretty good collision with the wall and made a loud, exciting noise that you expect out of a pro-hockey game (certainly not out of a rec ladies' team!) but it lacked the meaning. I mean, not like i was really checked or anything - checking is not allowed - it just comes down to what I like to call "unrefined raw talent". this just means i might suck, but i give it all the effort i have! and sometimes this means i skate hard, fast... and then either run into somebody or fall over trying to stop. falling over makes me look sucky, but running into people makes me look tough and mean. Thus, I usually choose the latter at my own bodily expense.

"Is the answer Jesus?" anybody who knows that quote is automatically awesome in my book.

I submitted my pics for the contest - if you don't know what I am talking about, then it's not for you to know (yet). I got my animal planet audition tape all set and they changed the rules on me! now i need a partner, and need to redo the tape! which is ok, my sister and i would make one bad-ass team. linda's just as firey, aggressive, and stubborn as i am. grrr baby!

work is work. actually it's not much work. it's dull. i was not meant to be a secretary. i think i say that everyday. even when i try to convince myself that sitting and not moving all day is relaxing and fun, i still end up exhausted and mentally numb. today was better - got my first experience with the seeds, mixing and filling orders, blah blah. i should be more excited, considering this is what i thought i wanted to do - environmental restoration. except i either wanted to design it, or install it. not answer phones, send faxes, and write shipping labels. i guess it's good for me to learn how to be semi-domestic, but i'd prefer digging in the dirt any day. i actually got EXCITED at a job ad looking for tree trimmers. althought it gets tedious and monotonous, i love working with my hands and being outside and working up a sweat!! i was sad to get a notice in the mail from the forest service - i've gotten used to getting letters saying i was not qualified, or not referred to the hiring official, but this one (in Utah - awesome state!) said i was considered one of the most qualified but was not chosen. So close, yet so far! and it was actually a full time GS-6 position in forestry! the coveted full-time federal position slipped from my fingers again. i've done the fish and wildlife service, and the parks service... why not forest service? i'd like to add to my collection of govt. agency hats.

i can't believe i go to bed before 11. what a sad state i have become. i was meant to be outdoors and nocturnal. me as a secretary is like a wolf in a cage - it might work for a little while, but overall it's just a sad thing.

other last minute random thoughts:

i need to touch up my tattoo, and i want to get another one. i would also like to move out, which is higher priority than tattoos. looking at apts and houses, but i'm so afraid to get into a lease because what if funding comes up for grad school? do i move to montana? do i bother going? still one-track mind: zoo. zoo. zoo. gotta get that job. know i'm not gonna get it. probably going to move to brighton to split the difference btwn my current job, and any other possible jobs i might get. would love to move to the city - downtown - but not gonna happen. hate throwing $$ away on apts but who am i kidding, i'm never going to afford a house. i'm going to spend all my money on travel, outdoors gear, and books. need to buy clipless pedals for the bike, and figure out how to use them. also need to learn how to use my bike tool for repairs - what good is the tool on the trail if you have no clue what it does? also want to get a membership to planet rock. climbing is so fun... not quite the same indoors as it was in Colorado but it will have to do. gotta run. and run. and run. realized i should have actually hopped on that ferry to alaska from seattle; now i want new zealand, peru, and belize.

i promise i'm not decending into madness with my ramblings... i just have so much on my mind that it needed to get written down before i went to bed. goodnight, ya'll.

past my bedtime

darn.

i wanted to enter a good journal entry on here, but ever since i've started working, i've already been exhausted and just lacking enough time in the day to do everything i want to get done.

example: i taped my "king of the jungle" audition tape but have yet to transfer it and edit it onto a VHS tape instead of Hi-8. it's due the 29th. can anybody say "overnight shipping"??

i wanted to update on how the job is doing but well, the job takes up nearly every hour of daylight there is. literally. yikes, i really don't know what i got myself into, and what to do about it.

good: job is boring office stuff now, but if i suck it up for a while i am very sure that it may be the most monetarily and professionally rewarding job i could ever had. i'll explain later, but for some reason boss really has taken me under his wing and wants to teach me how to be the jiggy bomb of environmental restoration and consulting. so not only is it right up my alley degree-wise, but it could also pay big $$$. did i mention i now officially have an "hourly rate" that we charge people when i work on a project for them? i've never had my own hourly rate for clients (except when i'm doing my ho-thang of course)!! i feel like i've grown because of this. (ha! just being a smart ass again)

bad: i'm not cut out to be the secretary type. if you know anything about human evolution, i am wholeheartedly convinced that i am decended from the hunter type, as opposed to the farmer type. i honestly read something once that ADHD might actually be a naturally selected-for trait in early humans, because being restless, full of energy, yadda yadda (cant remember,  if i find it i'll link to it) is a result of the hunter-type having to constantly live a nomadic, active life; whereas farmers settled down. i know i'm explaining it poorly but i will make an effort to find it, if i ever get that animal planet tape done. ;)

UPDATE: here's the link for one of the ADHD evolution essays i've read. dont ask how scientifically based it is, because i dont know and i dont care. its just neat to think about. ;)

where was i? oh yeah, bad: i'm not a good secretary. i was not meant to sit down - ESPECIALLY indoors all day. and i'm mostly by myself; we work at boss' home, so he usually goes upstairs to his living room to make phone calls while i sit in the basement by myself. fortunately he has dogs i can play with, and i even got a radio, but still - lisa is social by nature. i mean, people are stupid and sometimes bother me greatly, but i love being around them. i'm sure somebody out there understands. ;)

it's also bad because it is nearly 120 miles round trip from work. over an hour drive each way. throw in a healthy dose of ann arbor stupid-drivers and my impatient, road-rage-prone Aries personality, and voila! instant exhausted, ticked off lisa blaring a certain ludacris song while trying to avoid the black cloud coming from a beat-up old toyota going 15 under the limit in the fast lane, strategically driving next to a person in the slow lane so you can never pass. and i get off work fairly late, so i dont even get home til nearly 6. i miss the days when i worked 2 miles from my house and was home by 4:10. it's wearing on me already, believe it or not. it is stressful to have such a commute, have to sit so long in the car, and then sit in front of the computer. i'm usually a stress-free person but this kind of couped up boredom is probably the hardest thing for me to cope with. i'd rather work 10 hr days outside in extreme weather hiking up and down mountains than sit in front of a computer for 4 hours... oh wait, that's what i did in colorado, and i loved it. 'nuff said.

so much for keeping this short. congrats to heather for filling her pockets with our money at this evening's poker night! hopefully i will see tara this weekend, and kevin, beth and i were going to go climbing until we realized that planet rock is closed for a competition this weekend. woops.

blab blab blab. time for bed. had lots of crazy dreams lately, but one recurring one has got me freaked out. recurring dreams for me do sometimes have a sort of clairvoiyant abilities it seems, it hasn't happened in so long but this time, i'm not so sure. three times in the past 2 weeks, i had dreams about marc that i dont actually remember what happens in them, but i do know that when i wake up i know something bad is goign to happen to him. not to him, as in physically, but someone close to him and it will hurt him emotionally. i mean, i have dreams when people die and stuff, but i never have dreams when i wake up genuinely sorrowful and worried and full of dread. it hasn't happened in a week, but the last time it happened i just woke up and knew something bad was on its way. ireally hope it's just my imagination running wild. marc's one of those people who does truly seem like he has some special kind of "luck" or someone/something watching over him (he's nearly died a few times - appendix, car crash i think - but crazy things happen and it all turns out ok), unlike anyone i've ever met. very intruiging. he also believes that if something happens, it was meant to be - fate, i guess. hope his luck isn't running out, and i hope if somethign does happen it has nothing to do with his son.

wonder what i'll dream tonite. more zombies and witch heads trying to possess me?

some pictures

for some reason they didn't upload yesterday, so i am trying again.

silly little vixen

Heather rocks!

I just spent many half-naked hours with her, and she did an unbelieveable job with the photo shoot!

Know what I just realized? I forgot to bring the shirt i bought in chicago! that's what i was going to post a pic of on here. oh well, guess i'll substitute with this asian dominatrix picture. Look out, I bite!

I'll fill ya'll in with why exactly we had a photo shoot in the near future. in the meantime, it's past my bedtime and i have my first day of work tomorrow. yip-de-freakin'-do-dah.

cheers.

on belay?

Does this employment drama never end??

I was supposed to start the new job tomorrow... however, bossman realizes that it would be silly for me to go to this convention tuesday, and i should instead go wednesday. Alas, i have one more day to try and do everything that i have procrastinated on all year. ;)  And of course, now that I am supposed to start working, I have an interview offer with canton twp as a park ranger (sounds fun but it's only part time) and the guy from Bridger Fire finally called back! I was starting to think they didn't want me anymore, since i was supposed to hear from them over a month ago. looks like i could still pack up and get out of this sprawling hell hole suburb if i wanted to, but can't convince myself that $10/hr with an uncertain work week is enough for me to comfortably live off of. my "potential advisor" wrote back and said no new news on funding, but a few proposals under review. why does everything in life take so long when you want it, but happens too fast when it's unwelcome?

yikes, having a hard time typing cuz steve and i went to planet rock for some climbing! despite climbing a little bit all summer, i lost any bit of strength/technique/talent that i may have gained on the rock in colorado. this little girl flew up a V5 overhang while i was trying to reach for a big chunky hold on a V0. I never said i was good, i just said that i have done it. doing something, and doing something well, are not to be confused. ;)

stever was nice enough to help me tape my video for "king of the jungle 2" casting call. it was a blast! i had a good time until the last segment, i just ran out of good ideas! it was so sunny and windy outside that it just wasn't turning out as well as i hoped, but we had a good time and that's what counts. tomorrow i am getting nekkid for heather! i guess i am rolling around in water?? she's also going to help me out with my "special shoot" that i need done. hee hee. i promise i'll post some pics on here and reveal my surprise.

you do WHAT?

It's hard for me to explain what I do at my new job, since I don't actually start until Tuesday. And my first day of work involves driving 2 hrs to Grand Rapids for a soil erosion convention, dressed all business-bitch style and setting up a display for what we do. Does anyone else think it's funny that I have to explain what we do, when I'm not even totally sure what we do? It shouldn't be that bad. Lots of hottie contractors and landscapers to flirt with. Hee hee. So here is the official "job description":

********

This position will involve supervising the native seed farm and all aspects of seed and plant sales, plant propagation and any general nursery operations. Office tasks will include answering the phone, taking orders, providing estimates, spreadsheet development, report writing, and other general office tasks. This position may supervise volunteers and/or work crews on the farm and installations.

This position will also serve as an assistant ecological consultant regarding ecosystem restoration and management, natural stormwater management and treatment, natural features inventory, native species specifications, plant installation, soil bioengineering, wetland consultation, bird & mammal survey, endangered & threatened species analysis, conservation easements, grant application, and other natural solutions.

The minimum of a Bachelor's Degree is required for this position in: Botany, Ecology, Horticulture, Wildlife Biology/Habitat, Natural Resource, Plant Science, or related field. General horticultural, gardening, or farming skills are highly desirable for this position. Applicant must have excellent technical writing skills, competent knowledge of the Windows 2000 and Windows XP operating systems and excellent abilities in all Microsoft Office Professional products (Word, Excel, Access, PowerPoint, FrontPage, etc). Applicant must have some experience with reading and interpreting a variety of map formats: soils, topographical, aerial photos, NWI, and MIRIS.

Applicants should be highly motivated and possess good teamwork competence, good written and oral communication skills, ability to work with a diversity of people, self-motivated, and ability to work with minimal supervision. This position is physically demanding and may require outside work in all seasons. You must have a valid Michigan driver's license and reliable transportation (mileage will be compensated for work related travel).

Experience desired in: Nursery operations: propagating native plants and nursery maintenance; General Farming: driving tractor, harvesting and planting, IPM training; or Landscaping: planning, installation and maintenance, or Habitat Restoration: harvesting and planting native seed and plants, invasive species control, and prescribed burning; or Ecological Consulting: native plant identification, natural features identification, wetland delineation, literature and field research.

************

As you can see, it sounds very intense. Somehow, I am very qualified for this job. Guess being a jack-of-all-trades has finally paid off; who'd of thought that it would be a GOOD thing to do everything from electroshocking fish, digging up exotic plants, driving tractors, mowing turf, collecting seeds, and selling blinds and wallpaper, while possessing wildland firefighter certification and a pesticide applicator's license? What can I say, I'm a curious person. :)

Stupid Gonzaga had to go and lose like that yesterday. At least the Wings were wholloping LA when I went to bed last night. We tried to go to Planet Rock and go climbing, but they were so busy! Try again today or Monday I suppose. We had decided NOT to head north for skiing... guess what. They are getting a bit of new snow and it's great skiing conditions tomorrow. Unfortunately, Steve has an appointment tomorrow so we can't go. Ugh. I am never going to learn how to snowboard or ski!

Brackets!

I've never been a huge basketball fan; however, I love brackets. And I usually end up doing surprisingly well because I don't really have any expectations for any of the teams. I  mean, I know who is supposed to be really good, but the rest of them is just A. looking at how they are seeded B. dumb luck and C. personal bias against a state or a school. Example: if I don't know what school the abbreviations stand for, or if I've never heard of the school, I don't pick them. Why? I figure that if they were that good, I would have heard the name before. Also, I hate Texas. I did pick Texas to win, but usually I always pick against them.

Know the best part? I am absolutely rockin' the brackets this year.

As of right now, I was only wrong on 5 teams, and this first round is nearly over! I think that's pretty bloody good, especially since I didn't expect any of those teams that I got wrong to actually go on to the next round.

My final four? Gonzaga, Wake Forest, Miss St. and UConn. Miss St. takes all against Gonzaga.

If I don't like bball, why do I bother? Well, it makes me like bball temporarily. Everywhere I go, there is a game on; when I become personally concerned with the outcome, suddenly it's that much more exciting.

so much for the road trip...

Feeling Grumpy

Well, Steve and I were supposed to go on a road trip down south this weekend. So much for that.

First, it was cancelled because frankly, it's hard to be "just friends" sometimes and Steve wasn't comfortable with it. But he got over it, and we called the trip back on yesterday. We had been planning on leaving Thursday night, but we hadn't even decided where to go! Originally I wanted to go somewhere warm -  Northern Florida, Carolina coast, even the Ozarks. I wanted to hire a climbing guide so I could finally try climbing with ropes instead of bouldering all the time, but can't afford it.  I did, however, find out that you can go rafting/kayaking on the Chattooga nearly year-round. Need to remember that in the future!  Then we were just going to do some long day-hikes a little bit closer; maybe Mammoth Caves in KY, Shenandoah in VA or something within 10 hrs.  Alas, the weather was not on our side: Friday wouldn't be that warm, and Saturday it is supposed to rain nearly everywhere in the southeast.

Fine. I'm resourceful... so I thought dogsledding would be cool. The weather would be fine for it in Minnesota, northern MI, or even Ontario, Canada. But reservations are needed, and that doesn't work for my "spontaneous adventure" lack-of-planning. Fine again. We'll just suck it up and go up north, and learn how to snowboard. Well, this week was excellent - plenty of new snow up north. But then I find out that it will be 45 degrees this weekend, and that sounds like it might make for some sloppy-wet skiing. The lady at Crystal Mountain said people don't seem to mind, but I'm not driving 5 hrs to find that it's melted. Yuck. So here I am, sitting in my bedroom on my last unemployed Friday, writing about my failed trip.

It's not all lost, though. I think today I'm going to drive out to Pinckney and go for a nice wet muddy hike, and this evening we're going to try some climbing at Planet Rock. A disappointing end to my freedom, but I'm not dishing out money to drive south and get rained on. It's going to be 55 degrees and rainy here on Saturday, and my parents are out of town. "Party!" Ha ha yeah right.

So not looking forward to the new job... Bad vibes. My gut instinct is almost always right; still hoping to get the zoo job. I did write my possible advisor today at Montana State to see if there is any funding yet. Wouldn't that just be funny? I get all these full-time career job offers, and then funding comes through. How do you say no to free grad-school and project funding?? Especially when the project might involve studying ecological restoration in Yellowstone geothermal sites?

***************************

According to Tickle, I will be married by Saturday, August 18, 2007. Yikes.  Guess I'd better meet a boy who can put up with me pretty soon. ;)

Stout!

Before I go to sleep, stinking of cigarettes, bar food, and beer, I thought I'd jot down a quick recap of things to remember from St. Patty's Day, 2004 at Stout Pub in Brighton:

- The screaming towel dispenser - "waaaaaooOOOOOOO!" Do it again! Do it again!

- Jason Bigg's twin prowling for some fresh meat

- The strange little lephrichan dancing in the rafters and throwing golden coins!

- Walking the gauntlet of hungry boys (men??) on the way to the bathroom

- D-Cup club recruits members in the ladies room! Show your membership proudly!

- Beer monkey and his air-guitar-god friend waiting for us like sharks! Trapped in the corner and peeking to see if the coast was clear!!

- Having to reject a hat not once, not twice, but three times from moussed-up beer monkey, while Heather learns that the lephrichan throws "pure milk chocolate treasure!!" from goon #2 (he even bit it to prove his point!)

- Trying to escape beer monkey while some stealthy dude tries to snatch me up! Steve, we need a dick-deterrent!

- Donna receiving the very same hat that beer monkey gave to me - and THEN he takes it back from her! "But it's my hat!" It's made of PLASTIC! GET OVER IT, BEER MONKEY! (And Donna looked so Cabaret! What a shame.)

- Heather's ass-shakin' sex kitten strut attracting boys from far and wide! Stop that wigglin'!

- I still don't see why Kirk thought the waitress was hot. According to Heather, she didn't "have anything to grab on to!"

- What did that strange man with the credit card say to me, and why was his arm around my back? What did you say? Everyone knows I take cash only. ;)

- Bizarr-o Denny's (Lil Chef) asking if I wanted my bagels buttered along with the cream cheese?? Has this ever happened to anyone before?

- Eating in the Clue Room, with scary girls in thepictures staring at Donna. Who would be the first to die if this were a horror movie?

Oh, and I still love the look of amazement and awe when men come up to me and my Guinness and exclaim "how can you drink that? wow!" yeah, that's right boys. watch and learn.

Just a glimpse of my evening before I go to sleep and forget it all. Thanks for a great night guys! But I still didn't get a @#%$# Guinness shirt, or even a Jameson shirt! Ebay, here I come...

last week of federally funded freedom

One week left until I jump back into the rat race of actually working for money. God bless America, unemployment has gotta be one of the silliest things I have ever taken advantage of in our government. Paid for doing nothing. Not to say I didn't earn that money - I sent out so many bloody resumes and sat in front of this computer, endlessly clicking to find a job... I really do want to work. It got so boring, and I couldn't really afford to travel as much as I wanted, and I just felt like my life was so pointless! I'm still a bit apprehensive about taking this job - in the long run, I think I could be very successful and make lots of $$, but then again, I really would love to work for the zoo. Anyone who knows me knows I belong at the zoo (har har har), but I wouldn't make as much money long-term and there isn't as much room for moving up. Assuming I get offered the job, of course. ;)

I experimented with my first-ever "tan in a bottle". I never realized just how pale I am! It didn't turn out significantly darker, so I'm thinking I'll try again. Then with Heather's help, hopefully I'll get some ridiculous picture on here with what I bought in Chicago. <wink> And no, I promise it has nothing to do with a 2 foot long dildo.

Went out and got Mark Mowers autograph last night. He's relatively new and not really in the spotlight, so I was the ONLY one there! Dorky little me walks in with 3 pucks (not all for me! i swear!) and it was just so bizarre getting the autograph of someone my age. Autographs are goofy anyway, but hey it was fun I guess. I shook his hand and some dude working there joked around and said I was going to throw the wet pucks into the bag and ruin them, and Mark laughed and said "Naw, she wouldn't do that!" Giggle giggle goes the Lisa. HA! I didn't really flirt, but if I wanted to hang around and chat, it would have been the perfect time. He's not really my type anyway - too blonde and clean-cut. I like my men dark and scruffy. ;)

Any ideas for my St. Patty's day? All I know is that this year, if those Guinness girls come back and don't give me a shirt, I'm taking it off their back. My goodness, my Guinness!

Chicago and bondage

What a great weekend!

Saturday, I decided to drive out and meet Kirk and Heather at Brynn and Casey's in Chicago. I hadn't seen them since the Pirate Party nearly 9 months ago and I was well overdue for a road trip, so why not? It was perfect driving weather too - blue skies and warm sun, with plenty of CDs and a Red Bull for good measure. Somehow I actually managed to conquer the city traffic, pick up Heather, Brynn, and Kirk from downtown, and find FREE parking in the city on a beautiful Sat. afternoon. I knew right then that it was going to be a fine weekend. We met up with Steve H in "boystown" and walked down the rainbow-laden street and stopped in every bondage shop in town, tried on drag-queen-sized (runs larger than normal - go figure) corsets, gawked at dildos bigger than the size of my arm (hi mom! pretend you didn't read that) and dreamed of the day when we can afford to be hot. Apparently it's expensive to be hot; I saw thongs with less material than a wallet going for over $100.  I personally don't want to pay that much money to have a cow product wedged up my ass. I didn't come home empty handed, but hopefully I'll have a good pic to post of what I bought soon. ;)

The Chinese-Vietnamese food place in boystown was great. Have to remember to go back there! Before Kirk had a chance to pass out, we went back to Brynn and Casey's. I love their apartment - anyone with orange walls in their bedroom is awesome in my book. We ended up staying up until the wee hours of the morning sharing ghost stories, hauntings, lucid dreaming, and well anything else in those categories. It's great to know I'm not the only one that used to be able to control my dreams 100%, and I'm not the only one that just lost it one day. In honor of that conversation, I am adding a lucid dreaming link to my page. I need to work on getting that skill back... But I suppose you need to SLEEP to dream, and I've never been good at that part. ;)

Casey made strudle in the morning and Brynn whipped out her fiddle. I had such a great time, and I never realized how cool Chicago is. I've only always been to the touristy expensive parts, but I would love to live in some of those northern areas. The houses and lofts are so great... I don't think I'll ever make up my mind where I want to live though, so that's my whim of the week.

I had a hockey game this evening, so I specifically left early Sunday just so I could make it. I missed last week, and we only have 3 more games, so I really wanted to play! But stupid me got stuck in traffic and got home too late. I was really really pissed at myself; the only reason I left was for that game, otherwise I could have spent another evening visiting them. Grrr. I messed up. At least I got to watch the Wings game and the Sopranos. And during the drive home, the Columbus Fire Crew was playing "tag" with me in the stop and go traffic. Hot firefighter pulls up and checks me out; they get stopped; I smile and pull forward. Repeat.

Tomorrow I am going to get Mark Mowers (Red Wings player) autograph for my brother. Supposedly he's young and hot so I agreed to go again for my bro. Oh darn, please don't make me see an attractive hockey player, I hate those guys! (woops, was that sarcasm??) Tues I get to go to the Wings game, Wednesday is my favorite holiday of the year (and yes, I am Irish so I have to make my kinsfolk proud), hopefully Thurs I am going out with city boys to celebrate my newfound employment, then Friday I will take off on another roadtrip. This time, somewhere warm and sunny. We were thinking North Carolina but I guess there isn't much hiking to do in the Outer Banks... not sure where to go! We didn't want to drive too far but maybe we should try the Gulf Coast of Florida?

If I had a bedtime, I'm sure it would be well past it right now. Woops. I finally got my freelance writing "how-to" book, so I guess I'm feeling inspired to keep the words coming. But I suppose I should go to sleep and practice dreaming some more.

Roll out!

Another successful night of Texas hold 'em!

Jeff had a pretty good turn out too - the pot was up to $46 or something, I think we had about 12 people playing? Not sure, all I know is that "Dos Equis" turned into "Muchos Equis" if you know what I mean. Apparently I have skill in poker that I didn't know existed. It's not the type of skill that will make me rich, but it's enough to keep me ahead. Came home this week in second place once again, with $14 more than I started with. Which means that I am currently around $24 ahead. I think I just lack the patience to battle it out for first place. Ok, so I thought Chris was bluffing and took a silly risk... but I really wanted it to be over sooner than later. Really. <wink>

That's a lot of money in my eyes. That's the difference between drinking $1.50 Labatts only during Wings games, or a big fat Guiness whenever I please. It's the difference between seeing a new movie or whipping out Slapshot for the 20th time. It's more than a tank of gas for my little Focus. And I'm gonna need that gas money... Since I am going to Chicago tomorrow (today? gee, it's almost 3am. woops.)!!!

Kirk and Heather are already there visiting Brynn and Casey, and I really would like to see them so this is my best chance to go out and visit. I haven't been to Chicago in a few years now; not since Tara and I tore up the town for my family reunion, running around the streets of the Windy City during a rain shower in cute little tanktops and shorts! Although I'll have less than 24 hrs to play with them, it's well worth the drive!

Hopefully I'll have some good stories to post on here when I get back. :)

high heels

Yeah, I have this... fetish I guess?... for high heels. I don't mean just any high heels either. Man, I'm such a girl. For years, I always scoffed at women with a million pairs of shoes. I always had 2-3: running shoes, hiking boots, and something casual (Dr. Martens). For special occassions I had a few pairs of heels I shared with my sisters, but they were conservative. For some reason though, I have this newfound love for high heels.

Maybe cuz they show off my legs? Maybe because I'm taller?

Or maybe it's just cuz I think they're HOT. So I bought a new pair today, it's the 3rd picture on here, it has black upper and wooden sole. Believe it or not, that picture of the 6 inch heel is the most comfortable pair I have ever wore. No kidding. Wore them for hours to a party; needless to say, everybody wanted to try them on.

I love ankle straps, which I why I bought the other pair I have a picture of on here, but it's not very comfortable. Woops. Maybe I'll sell them to someone with a fetish on ebay.

There's two more pairs I am really digging right now, both at Victoria's Secret. One is another pair of black heels that you tie around your ankle, and the other pair is a casual khaki colored wedge with an ankle tie also. Can't decide between the two, but I know I will end up buying one. Maybe both, now that I have a job. I don't blow my money on many things, but my willpower is  no match for hot shoes.

makes me feel a little better...

Well, according to this, Michigan is the 3rd hardest state to get a job right now.

Phew, that makes me feel a lot better (sarcasm).

Not much else new, had a fun evening of skunked beer and intense conversation last night, then was happily greeted by a big red salt truck on my way home. Had to stop and chat of course - which probably looks pretty odd, my little green focus parked behind a plow truck, just sitting there with our lights on but not actually moving. Marc is such an ass but he's still fun anyway. Sortof.

I might be heading out to Chicago this weekend. It's a lot of driving for just one night, but it's worth it - I haven't seen Brynn or Casey in a long time!

Well gotta go feed my shoe fetish - I need a decent pair of buisnessy type heels since all my shoes are slutty stilettos or strappy vixen sandals. Hee hee. Too bad Victoria's Secret has some hot new ones that lace up the ankle. Meow, baby!

living off of "potential"

well, i said yes to the job after drilling him on the details.

at first, there won't be benefits, sick days or vacation days. so i tried to negotiate and see if he would pay a higher hourly wage to make up for it. he refused and said he wanted to start me at $12 and see how it works out, a "probationary" period. i can take sick days and vacation days but they will be unpaid for now.

however i was very persistent about benefits and how i need to be able to make enough money to support myself. he was understanding and is "very open to  negotiations as things get underway". he said that the company will not provide benefits, but in maybe 6 months or so we can negotiate a higher salary to cover the costs of benefits, or maybe get some paid vacation and sick. I guess it all depends on how well I negotiate. ;)

I wasn't going to accept the job, because the thought of having a "career" that lasts forever but doesn't have benefits makes me nervous. however, he told me straight up that as the company grows (he just got a bunch of new jobs from
wayne county and the city of detroit that will last years) he wants me to be his right-hand (wo)man, and he anticipates in 3 years, we will be so busy that we'll
have to hire a secretary to take over part of my job, while I get more into the consulting end of things. He kept saying that the "potential is unbelieveable" and
that he promises I'll make lots more money as I am taken under his wing.

Well, maybe I'm gullible but that's good enough for me. I'll give it a try. If I get offered the zoo job, I'll tell him I need a pay raise or benefits, or I am
walking. ;)

In the meantime, I need to figure out what is "business casual" for that conference in Grand Rapids. Fortunately, my everyday work outfit is jeans and anything I can get dirty while playing in the greenhouse. :)

another twist to the job game

Mood: Confused

So I's calls this guy up, see, and I says to him "Hey man, who you think you're jimmyjackin'?! This independent contractor shizzat don't go down wit me, yo. It's my way or the high way, bizzatch!"

Not exactly, but close enough. I called and left a message saying that this whole contractor thing won't work for me and I regretfully decline the job. He calls back and talks to my mom and tells him that that's fine, he wants to hire me on as a real employee! A real life employee! With sick days and vacation and everything! Well not quite everything, I doubt benefits will be included but I have to call him back to figure it all out. Phew! So I guess I still can celebrate. Too bad I still want the zoo job, and a bunch of great jobs just opened up - a few wildlife positions with the State, another landscape job that's more labor than phones (a good thing in my eyes), and a few fed jobs. I still want the zoo job though. Look at me pout. What a baby. "I wanna feed the big kitties!"

independent contractor??!!

Well, so much for my newfound "employment".

He wants me to be an independent contractor working for him. All fine and dandy, I thought, until I spoke to a few friends of mine who were contractors. The truth is revealed about what it really means to be an indy contractor...

He wants to set my hours, teach me how to do things his way, and train me. I am supposed to work for him indefinitely, and go out to his office to work. For all IRS/government purposes, that makes me an employee. But by making me a subcontractor, he gets to avoid lots of paperwork and save money, and screws me out of many things. Supposedly subcont'rs get paid more because of the fact that they have no sick leave, no paid vacation, no benefits, nothing... but I don't think I'd be getting paid enough.

All around, it just sounds like a shady deal to me. To be subcontracted, it is generally expected that I am really good at something and have my own tools, methods and knowledge so I can seek out work from others on a project basis. Ummm... no, there's lots of training involved for me, and I am essentially his secretary. I mean, the other employees are self imployed for good reason - they are landscape architects and engineers. And the fact that he bad-mouthed another applicant to me for 15 minutes is unprofessional - and that's pretty bad coming from me!

Now I'm sitting here trying to think of a graceful way to decline the job, so that he will have another story to tell the next applicant about how much I suck. 

employment!

Dude!

I got a job! And it's almost local!

Sitting there at the coffee shop with my yuppie caramel latte, reading my Peter Jenkins book and dreaming of my upcoming road trip I am going to take down south next weekend, I was startled when my cell phone started vibrating at 8:30 at night. Area code was from either north or west of here... who could it be? I let it take a message. It was the guy from the native plant nursery!

I had all but given up on it, since it had been a few weeks. Guess some fantastic guy popped out of nowhere to interview, then turned down the job and now it gets passed on to me. I'm really excited about the possibilities of this job. My title is "restoration assistant" but it's essentially 50% office duties, taking orders, marketing, etc and 50% nursery management for native seeds and plants and/or environmental consulting work, with lots of opportunity to learn landscape architecture and stuff. So I guess I get to do a little bit of everything. The only part I am a bit nervous about is the fact that I am not actually employed by the company - in fact, nobody is. All the employees are "sub-contractors", and I guess that technically makes me self employed?? No benefits but the pay is way better than being a smoke eater in Montana, with guaranteed hours that the fire job couldn't promise. It's weird though, since I am a contractor I don't get a W-2 at the end of the year, and they don't take taxes out of my wages - I pay them seperately or something?? Not sure, all stuff I'll have to get answered tomorrow. It also technically means there is no job security at all, but I always like living dangerously so that's no problem. HA!

Actually I have two reasons why I am nervous about taking the job. First, is what happens in 4-6 weeks if I get offered the zoo job? It's a tough choice, and I'd feel like an ass if I quit. I think I have a decent chance of getting the zoo job, too. Much better chance for me to make more money with the landscape job and more varied with duties, but then again how often do you get a chance to work in a zoo!? And I have to say I am very used to working for governments. My other problem is that it's located in the boonies, out past Ann Arbor and nowhere near any places I'd really like to live. Being a young, single female I need opportunities to stalk my prey (men) and there's not much of that going on in the farmland out near Manchester. It is very gorgeous out there but right now I'm too social to live by myself in a rural town. I could live in Ann Arbor but I was starting to get excited about moving to Royal Oak or Detroit, or even to Brighton or Walled Lake to be closer to Tara and Jenna. I need workout buddies! I know I'm just being whiny and picky but I'm nervous and that's what happens when I have to make a big decision.

Then again... I can finally move out! And get a dog and a nice bed and get to unpack all the crap in boxes in my room. Use my new deluxe toaster!

Figures that was actually getting somewhere with regards to a job with Outward Bound. I mean, not like I was offered a job or anything but there was positive karma! I think I'd really enjoy being a wilderness instructor, and maybe some day that will happen. Us crazy humans live a long time, so unless I kill myself doing something crazy and dangerous (sometimes i think it's not that unlikely hee hee) then i have plenty of time to do everything!

the whim of the day

I'm really starting to dig this new haircut! I was going to grow my bangs out but I always end up cutting them in the end (voluntarily or not). I'm hopefully going to be modeling for an art project for Heather this week and, even though it supposidly involves powder and cloth (?? Heather help me out here! what the heck are you going to do to me!?) and I get really dirty, at least my hair will look good.

Well, there was snow on the ground until a few hours ago. Will probably come back again tonite, since it's supposed to snow again. I hate this phase, where the ground is no longer frozen and everything turns to mud. At least I can trail run in the snow if I felt so ambitious. Still a few weeks before the mountain biking trails are good to go too. I've resorted to my old workout videos that I haven't touched since high school. Cardio Boot Camp, b*tch!

I've got to make some executive decisions soon. I haven't heard from the Montana fire guy yet, he was out of town but I thought he was supposed to be back by now. I did leave a message... I want to call to see what's going on, but then again I don't want to call because I'll have to decide whether or not I'm going. I'm leaning in the direction of no right now, because it's too sketchy not to have a guaranteed 40 hr work week on a $10/hr job. I mean, one week without work, and I might not be able to pay rent or eat! I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my job-hunting books from Amazon.com so I can figure out what I am doing wrong, and figure out what exactly I want to do. My latest plan has me excited - get a job with Outward Bound. I took the initiative and called them today, and the internships are filled (they only paid $300/month anyway) but they have various support jobs (dog caretaker for the sled dogs, cooks, logistics) and once you get in through that, you can eventually make your way up to instructor. Being a wilderness instructor would be wicked cool! Voyager OB is based out of Minnesota and Montana so that would be fun too. Also looking at jobs as a tour guide. I figure I like to travel, so maybe I should try a new approach to job hunting. A job also opened up at the native plant nursery in Ann Arbor, so I might put in for that too. I do like landscaping still too, and if Tim stops being a jackass then maybe I can find out if he wants me to help him out with projects this summer.

Thinking about beinga waitress. Yikes! Me, a waitress? Hell has not yet frozen over, because I haven't actually applied yet, but it is an option. I like people, and I know a lot of the guys that eat at O'Tooles where I might apply... the only catch is that you must wear a schoolgirl plaid skirt and a tight white shirt. But I've got "assets" that will help me get better tips <wink>. And Hooters is coming in soon also... Although I detest Hooters for claiming they are a family establishment (I would never take my kids there), I know how well those men tip! Chuck told me to try being a bartender somewhere - since I took a class - but ehhh maybe I'll start small and spill food on people first, before I start spilling bourbon and whiskey.

May be going up north this week or weekend, or maybe even see what kind of cheap flights I can get to southern destinations. If I could I'd go to Peru or Belize but I'll settle for Key West or anywhere close that I can just swim in the Ocean...

do it. do it. do it.

See Starsky and Hutch. It's funny.

So much for that warm weather. I was even wearing shorts on Friday! Now it's Sunday and, what's that I see, is that SNOW? Lots of snow. Fine by me, all this mud and grey naked trees and yellow dead grass don't do much for me.  I'm glad I got to play with the Novi boys for a bit on Friday, it's been too long! Great bunch of guys, too bad that if I do end up moving, none of them will ever be able to visit - wives don't usually appreciate their husbands visiting other women across the US.

Man, there are some great movies coming out soon. Like Troy. Ok, I admit, I have this thing for muscular men in gladiator outfits (coughcoughGLADIATORcough). Troy is going to star Orlando Blume and Brad Pitt. And then Von Helsing with Hugh Jackman, it's even got Kate Beckinsale for you men out there.

I was supposed to have a hockey game tonite, but I am just feeling so run down and tired, I can hardly speak correctly. Slurrringmywords. All for now.

late nite delirium

no surprise that i'm up at 4 am writing a stupid little journal entry instead of sleeping. for some reason, it made me smile to see that the goldfish was also up with me and that i am not the only nocturnal animal in the house. if there is one thing i look forward to about moving out - besides getting a dog - is getting my own nice big huge comfortable bed. i may own used couches and dressers and microwaves, but there will be none of that when it comes to a matress. i figure i spend enough time in bed, and have a history of sleeping poorly (tonite), that i am allowed to indulge in the best that my money can buy. one day, i will no longer have to envy jenna and her gourmet pimpin' bed!

yeah so this is what i apparently write about in the middle of the bloody night. someone needs to take this computer away from me; i might hurt myself with my own lameness. heh heh.

at least i was asleep and just woke up, and not like a few months ago when i had 3 weeks of the worst insomnia ever. and i've had it bad before. no matter what i did, i could not sleep any more than 3 hrs, if at all. i was not tired one bit, but it is so boring to be awake all night when the rest of the world is at a stop. it was really driving me nuts. i was apprehensive just thinking about having to try and go to sleep, because inevitably i would wind up with my eyes wide open, blinking at the dark ceiling and nearly to tears in misery. sleeping pills couldn't even help. man, that was miserable.

besides that, i'm happy i have great friends that are there to pull you out of a slump when you need it. i was pretty downtrodden about my perpetual state of unemployment and feeling pretty useless, but kirk and heather made me laugh until i was ready to throw up, and i think that's a good thing?? nothing like loud, politically incorrect ranting and raunchiness to perk me up! then the next night, had a fun time with the two steves, and tonite i got to play with my favorite novi boys. i think i'll take it easy this weekend; i can't really afford to do this anymore! but it was the pick-me-up i needed to help me get back on my feet and find a job.

oh, got a haircut. i feel so trendy and hip! i'm a little upset because she took off a bit more than she said she would ("let's leave your bangs long"...snip snip.... 2 inches gone...) and i like my hair really long, but i admit that it looks pretty hot. ;)

the next jeff corwin

Well, I'm exactly where I started 6 months ago - no hopes for a job anywhere in sight, unless I scrape my way by on $10/hr in Montana.

That's not to say that I don't think my interview went well at the zoo. On the contrary, my friends. It went fine. I went so far as to wear my nice interview pants and dressy professional shirt (not only do they look nice, but they also show off my T & A for the male bosses! If they can do it on the Apprentice, I can too!), filled my pleather interview folder with crisp new resumes on fancy hemp paper, and printed up a copy of the research paper I wrote on Colobus monkies in the zoo. "Lookin', smellin', feelin' like a million bucks-ah!" couldn't have said it better than Luda.

All this effort, to sit for 15 minutes and answer questions that are already on the fancy hemp paper resume I gave them (what are your last 5 jobs and what did you do blah blah blah) and then 3 little questions that had a tad more importance, and then told me how the hiring works: they rank people according to the test we originally took and how we rate on experience (i wonder if "charming" and "nice butt" count in that category?) and this ranking system forms a big fat list. From this list, they fill jobs as they open up. The good news, is that thay have 8 vacancies and plan on filling 4-6. The bad news, is that the soonest we will even be ranked is 4-6 weeks. Keep in mind I applied in Dec, took the test in Jan, and they said the job was going to start in March.

So either I sit and exhaust the rest of my unemployment and then take some crap summer job, or move to Bozeman and see how frugal I really can be. This doesn't even take into consideration that there is still some chance, no matter how slight, that I may get funding for grad school out there at Montana State. At this point I don't even want to do grad school, I just want to move dirt and carry heavy things. Screw anything that needs a degree!

Off to play in Ann Arbor! Maybe they can cheer me up. I also bought some bubble bath - I may be bored and miserable, but at least I'll smell good and have soft skin. ;)

nothing like a good run

Nothing like a good hard run into the wind to get the blood pumping, eh? I've decided that anybody who is into any kind of serious sport must be at least a tad masochistic. But the hurt feels so good... hee hee

Had a nice drive down to Detroit today, I really love that city. I know, it's got a bad reputation and certainly parts of the city aren't safe, but I'm excited to see the progress that's going on. For example, the new park they are building by Hard Rock Cafe/Compuware Building, that has a big statue and supposidly an outdoor ice skating rink. I can't wait - watch the Lions whoop @ss at Ford Field, get hammered at the Bleu Club or Hard Rock, then stumble around drunkenly on ice skates in the park. Sounds like a good time to me!

Oh yeah, and here's a link where my mom got her silly little "Daisy Dog". Although I've never been fond of little lap dogs, I gotta admit that Tiny is one little fireball of terror and I love her for it.

Yes, I am one of those lame people that likes to take lame surveys and post their lame results on their lame journal. So here's the latest:

Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Wet dogs

I'm one of those people that has the most energy after dark, lately I've been reading a lot before bed. Finally finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - I liked it enough that I read the whole 900 page thing in a week! I've already read nearly 10 books this year, some of which were really good! My recommendations:

- "Road Fever" by Tim Cahill. Funny travel story about an crazy road trip. One of my favorite books right now!

- "Into Thin Air" by Jon Krakauer. About Everest disaster in '96. I also really liked "Into the Wild".

Also read "Deep Survival" about who and why some people survive wilderness disasters, and other don't. The first part was pretty intense with regards to brain and body physiology and functioning, but the second half of the book has more survival stories, and what characteristics make a survivor. I'm waiting to get a Peter Jenkins book in the mail; gotta love Amazon.com's option to buy used books! So much cheaper than buying new!

I was thinking about how wicked cool it would be to get that zookeeper job. I mean, I've always thought about being a wildlife rehabilitator, but the biggest problem is that you need experience to be one - and usually getting experience involves a long period of low or non-existent wages. I mean, seriously low. The one internship I applied for a few years ago paid $100/wk. Yikes. But this zoo job pays better (still not great considering the knowledge and training you need to have) and I'd love to work with animals. Yes, even crazy little Lisa has a soft, nurturing side. HA! You'll never hear me say that again! I don't feel quite that soft or nurturing right now though, while I'm listening to Lil Jon! "Move b**** get out the way ho, f*** that sh**! get out the way ho!"

I let the mutts out today in the rain... and forgot about them for an hour. Woops. Tiny is about 3 lbs of scrawny skin and bone, so she looked like a shivering white sewer rat. She wasn't very happy with me, especially since I had to giver her a second bath within two days. Poor thing, but it really was funny. Can't wait til I move out and get my own dog - a REAL dog that doesn't melt in the rain, probably something over 100 lbs. I've seen squirrels bigger than my mom's dog. That's just wrong!!

is the answer jesus?

Another pointless weekday.

Seeing as how I am unemployed, I always dread Mondays. It's the start of at least 40 hrs of alone time while every one else goes off and works, and at this point I think I've run out of things to do to occupy my time.  It's not like there aren't silly little things around the house that I could be doing - my room is full of crap that I never unpacked way back from college, other stuff i never unpacked from Colorado, and everything else is organized a way only I can understand (which means it's thrown about or stuffed in drawers). I could be cleaning it up and start sortof packing for the event that I do end up moving to Montana. But I can't stand staying here all day, so for all intensive reasons, cleaning my room is not an option.

I was all pumped to go for a good run today - it's the warmest it's been this year I think (high of 54 degrees I think?). But I forgot that I am in Michigan - it rains at every given opportunity if the weather is between 50 and 80 degrees. Silly me, what was I thinking. I did get a nice 5 mile hike in yesterday at Brighton, as well as an excellent hockey game last night. Our team kicks ass! Not sure of the standings but we are one of the top teams, and I think I am playing better than when I started. Ok, so I still can't stop very well, but that's ok as long as I take out someone from the other team - no problem there. But my stickhandling is absolutely appalling. According to my hockey-pro-hopeful 11 yr old brother, my stick is wrong for me. I love being told I am wrong by someone half my age - it keeps things in perspective as to how little I actually know. ;) Still no goals or assists, but just you wait!

Wednesday is the zoo interview. Yikes! Pretty much one of my last chances to have a job related to my field here in detroit... then it's either on to Montana after all, or sticking around here and mowing grass for the summer. And since I'm already a seasoned pro at mowing even the toughest turf (ha!), I don't really thinkI need another summer of practice if I can avoid it.