dream of dying

gotta write parts of this dream down before i forget!

***can't remember everything, but i know that myself and a bunch of my friends were going to do something that involved going fast. i'm thinking it was like skydiving but there was a weird twist to it that hopefully will pop into my head later. i was watching everyone else get ready and i was very uneasy about the whole thing because i'd never done it before, and it seemed sketchy to me. i was putting on my sunglasses but then i realized i didn't know how you get your sunglasses to stay on. so i took a pair of chums (that cord that you attach to sunglasses to put them around your neck) and was trying to slip the ends over the earpieces on my glasses, but the chums were old and stretched out and ripped, so i got scared it wouldn't work. i just remember that if my sunglasses weren't secure and fell off, it would be very bad. then i realized that you wear goggles over the sunglasses instead of chums.

...something happened that i can't remember, fast forward. i was dying! i don't know if it was before or after the "skydiving", but i looked down and saw that i was bleeding, and it was getting worse. i have never had a dream where i look down and see my own blood forming a pool around me. scary. it wasn't just one injury, there was blood from different wounds and none were big. i wasn't quite panicked, i think i was shocked and worried. at first nobody thought it was serious, but then i started feeling weak and i was telling people "umm guys, we need to do something here, i'm not feeling to great". we were trying to rush to get me help but for some reason there was a hold up and it couldn't come. i wasn't the only injured one either, but i dont remember who else/why. i got weaker and weaker and i knew i was close to dying.

the only other part i remember is one married friend of mine telling me he wished he could have gotten to know me better if he had been able to.***

that's the parts i can remember. as soon as i woke up, i only remembered those bits and pieces. it wasn't a nightmare, but it was uncomfortable to say the least.

...On that note, poker night was fun again. Steve looked like Ebinezer with his big pile of chips in front of him. How fitting that he had not wanted to stay late but just couldn't bear himself to depart from his stash. Good for me, though, he got knocked out and I stayed alive to bag 3rd place and $10.20. Since I had a rebuy, I initially put in $6, I owed Steve $1... I guess I was up $3, but I think I'm now $23 overall. Hey, I thinking winning money 3 out of 4 games isn't half bad.

It's so gorgeous outside today. Time to go running. If I grew some balls, then I'd really like to try an adventure race this summer. Adv. race = a combination of outdoors sports that you compete with a partner or solo. Think orienteering, mt. biking, trail running, ropes, and canoe/kaying or something of the sort.

I can't believe I am going to say this, but there is a chance I might go back to the city of Novi for the 4th season. No, not as parks and rec but as WATER DEPT. I really like those water guys, they're mellow and nice. That, or maybe a golf course. I went to the howell nature center to see about volunteering and, to my dismay, you can't come in when YOU want, you have to come in when they want - on a schedule. i hate when place do that, they should be happy to be getting FREE LABOR but instead insist that you keep a schedule like you work there. grr. it looks like i can't do rehab because they only have "slots" for someone during the day. I may be able to feed owls Wed. evenings. They have a really nice setup for those animals there, the cages are far from eachother and built around existing trees.

It's sunny... I've gotta go running. It's a love hate relationship.