i hate stupid people

I hate stupid people. When I say stupid people, I mean selfish, mean, think-only-with-their-wallet, ignorant, and just plain rotten people. Now I hate to stereotype (actually I love stereotypes, they're so funny!) but often people who drive huge SUVs for no reason ("But they're safer!" cry the hockey moms of suburban Detroit) really irk me. Especially H2 drivers. Especially when it's some prissy little b*tch woman driving it by HERSELF. And even moreso when they think that driving this big pollutant-spewing tank practically up my ass - and all i see is that big GRILL in my rearview mirror - is an obnoxious entitlement to owning an obnoxious vehicle. It's not good enough to just drive the biggest car - they need to make sure that all the other cars in the road realize this too by means of tailgating, aweful parking, and cutting you off. JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN.

What got me in such a fuss this morning about this? Well it's not SUVs directly, but a survey in the Detroit News online accompanying an article I was happy to see. The survey acts "Did the EPA go too far?" with regards to the EPA demanding Michigan to test auto emission. The results? Most people thus far have said "Yes, it won't make a difference." Here's the article. I am so glad to see emissions testing return to Michigan. It is so frustrating that the Motor City sees owning a vehicle such a high and mighty right, and what comes out of the tailpipe is your proud salute to being American. Nearly every headline in the Detroit news deals with cars. I know this is a huge subject because most people work for a car company around here, but often the news is so biased towards the Big Three that anything dealing with pollution, oil, gas prices, SUVs, etc that the environment gets swept under the rug. Polluting less apparently equals less jobs, but that is not the case!!

Which is not to say there aren't more "conscious" SUV drivers out there now than there were. Some people "need" them, and some people drive the smaller ones to reduce fuel consumption. But I still cannot see any benefits of owning an H2 or Excursion around here. It's FLAT, people! If my Focus can get around fine in the snow, then you don't NEED it for 4x4! You don't NEED it for rough terrain - potholes in the road are not considered offroading! And they aren't safe - if you manage to NOT roll over, and the roof NOT to collapse, then the chances of you harming somebody else in another car are huge!

...This is one of the many reasons I hate living here because I have to deal with it EVERY DAY. When will society stop sucking around here?

what went wrong?

The evening was perfect - Jack & Coke, Red Hot Blues chips, passionate hockey fans, and lots of energy to burn while yelling at the tv.

"Come on! Shoot it! It's right there! ARRRGGGHHH!!"

But alas, the Wings had an embarassing shut-out against Nashville. Nashville?! How the heck can we be beat by them southern folk?! They sound even sillier than Canadians!! (No offense to Canadians - I love that accent, eh?!) The commentary I heard afterwards was absolutely stellar: "What the Wings didn't do, was move the puck well." No shit.

Met a cool guy by the name of Amadeo. Don't actually know how to spell it either but it's important enough that I'd like to remember it. I don't know how he does it - he's from Novi, but he's COOL. He's outdoorsy and is actually participating in the adventure race in Pinckney that I've been asking people about! Crazy coincidence. He's climbed Long's Peak in Rocky Mt - I didn't even get to climb it this summer. He's even one of those cool people that you see in JUNE with his snowboard strapped up to a truck going thru Rocky, subsequently hiking to the top of one of the last snow-capped mountains in the park (in his case, Flattop), and taking one last summer ride. He mt. bikes Pinckney (which is pretty hard - haven't done it in a while but I remember it being sketchy for my skill level) and is a paramedic, in hopes of going to grad school. He also knows how to surf. It's all that I aspire to be! (Except the med school part). Hold your horses kids - he's cool but he's also hooked up. Definitely a name I want to remember so I can have a new climbing/biking/adventure partner, assuming I ever see him again.

Once again, one of the S-girls takes a stand. I have to admit, the three of us have many differences but we are all definitely assertive, take-shit-from-noone type of people. I think all of us have had run-ins with our employers in some form or another, and we speak up when something is just not right. Not needlessly whiney but standing up for what we believe to be good and just. Well Sue was being shat upon at work about her clothes. I saw what she was wearing and she looked good, but apparently to the old ladies at her work, it's unacceptable. After being scolded by this one woman in particular every time she came in - "Your pants are too baggy! Your shirt is too big!" - and for being late, though she distinctly told the higher authorities in advance, she decided to tell her boss what was on her mind. Let me put it like this - you don't want to mess with Linda or myself, but we pale in comparison to a truly fervered Sue. Don't know where she gets it from, but she has the gall, the attitude, and the pure vocal strength to smack down anyone who steps outta line. And I mean that in the nicest way - we don't always (usually) get along but she has my respect there.

Anyway, she told her boss that if they have a problem with her clothing, then they can fire her right then and there because she doesn't have the money - they don't pay her enough or give her enough hours - to be able to just run off and buy clothes because they don't think they hug her butt enough (cooch clingers I think she called them, haha!). The boss apparently had no idea, she hadn't heard anything about her clothes being a problem - which, Sue says, means that this old hag that has been yelling at her was making things up, saying that the "boss" told her that she was dressing badly. She also asked another girl, wearing a black shirt (she was told not to wear black) if she's even been yelled at, and she and a few other girls said no. So she told her straight up that the next time somebody says something about her outfit, she's quitting on the spot - doesn't matter if she just walked in the door, or if she's with a customer, she's just walking right out without two weeks notice, because this is ridiculous. There's more to it but it's complicated. Amen, sister!

Now she too wants to apply to novi. We just never leave, do we. I might or might not take the physical agility test for the firefighter position after all. I didn't originally because I didn't intend on being in town this long; now it looks like I might stick around for a while. Don't even know why I bothered applying to grad school - I want to be a writer, or an outdoor guide. I should go to Outward Bound instead and take an instructor course. I just can't take the plunge and dish out $6,000 though. I know in my heart it's what I SHOULD do, but financially I just can't. And I know I'd never be able to live in Michigan if I did that - all the adventure and wilderness is out of state. I love the west but something about the hardwoods and lakes and seasons ofMichigan just keeps me here. And a usually excellent hockey team of course. Oh, and Joey Harrington too I guess. ;)

****************

i added a mixed drinks website to my links. it even has the nutritional information. not that anyone actually pays attention to that besides me (my pretend diet), but it's a good refresher on how to mix shots. did you know I took a bartending course? not much i haven't done, is there. hee hee. :)

chicago pics up

I posted the pics Steve took in Chicago here.

And this is why they are no longer filling that coveted zookeeper job I had been crossing my fingers for ever since January. Four months of waiting, only to be abruptly stonewalled by the city budget.

latest hottie

Here's the latest and greatest in my hottie line-up: Timothy Olyphant from Deadwood on HBO. Although I am still committed to Joey Harrington of the Detroit Lions and we are going to get married, I'm really digging Tim right now. I don't even like mustaches but hey that's the way things went in the old west I guess. He's not always hot in his other movies, but oooh baby sideburns and scruffiness definitely do it for me.

I've written in here three times today - what's up with that, Lisa? Well, hockey is over so I've got spare time on Sundays  now. That, and I've been reading my magazine writing book, so I feel compelled to write something. Not sure what or how to write to magazines but I think that if I just keep words flowing on here, my well will not go dry so to speak. Keeps the juices flowing.

My birthday is next weekend. Wonder if I'll get any two-week notice job offers in beautiful western states this week, or if I'll get called at all about working at novi. Linda can't find any other job so she IS applying to her old job again - the job I was trying to get! She says they hire two but it sounded like they only had one spot open. How embarassing if my younger sister got hired and I didn't - and I've already worked there 3 seasons. The boss has bought me drinks and we shared a shot before. Yet one evil, sexist man blocks me from going back to parks & rec, and i don't really want to coal patch all summer with DPW. This is why I am trying to be a writer. :)

Anyway, birthday is coming and looks like I may hit the road with Steve yet again to accompany him on a trip to check out Rutgers in New Jersey. Personally, I've got the itch to head west but I've never been around Jersey. Maybe I can con I mean convince him into heading to the coast while we're out there. I've only been on the northern atlantic coast once in the Hamptons in NY (which is a story unto itself) so I definitely have ulterior motives to being his travel buddy.

Hooters is opening in Novi after all. It's actually quite a drama. They did all they could to block it from coming (refused to give it a liquor license) so instead they went on the private market and bought one, rumored for about $60,000 (usually cost $500 through a govt). Guess now city council still doesn't want it to come in, but if they try to stop it, thereis no legal way to do it and they will get sued. Simple as that. Novi does nothing better than getting sued and plowing down everything green and natural. Maybe if we're really lucky they'll get sued and turn over the rest of the park they gave away to a builder. good thing they refused to put a conservation easement on the mt. biking trail park; that way their hands aren't tied and they can give that away too in case of another lawsuit! Good thinking and progressive action, city council!

anyway, beneath all that controversy and uppity drama lies a restaurant with need of employees. namely, female employees. i may soon chase the american dream by putting in an application to wear the orange shorts and tight t-shirt. mommy, i've always wanted to be a hooters girl. let's face it - i have an uncanny ability to make 30 something year old men fall in love with me. is it so bad that i try to capitalize on my assets? it's the american way! you watched "the apprentice", didn't you??

bedtime. dreaming of you, timmy boy. ;)

"Your application for the position of Biological Science Technician
(Plants), GS-0404-05 at BOULDER, CO has been evaluated.  You were found to
be eligible for the position and your name was referred to the
selecting official. If interviews are conducted or additional information is
needed, the selecting official or someone from the Human Resources office
will contact you."

Hmm... I've gotten three of these. It's a very good thing when you were referred to the selecting official. We should take bets on if and where I will end up. It will probably end up like last summer, where I got an offer and was told I needed to move to Colorado in two weeks. This sit and wait game is just not my style. Time for another long road trip. And I told my plans to be a writer OUT LOUD to Brynn and Casey. Now I am committed! It is public! I must make it happen! Once I finished reading the Dummy's Guide to Writing Magazine Articles of course. ;)

happy easter!

Happy Easter kids! I might not be Catholic (I'm the Catholic "drop-out" of the family) but I can appreciate the value of any holiday that promotes eating chocolate rabbits and hiding colored eggs.

Back from Chicago already. I'm making this a bad habit of staying there for less than 24 hrs at a time. The trip was fun but disheartening for poor Steve. The whole purpose was to check out U of Illinois - Chicago, with whom he had spoken to earlier this week and got a not-so-hopeful response regarding his admissions there. But he needed to check it out anyway, and it was a good reason to visit Casey & Brynn. I had a feeling the trip would be sucky...

Starts out that we have a "disagreement" on what time we were actually going to leave. I thought leaving earlier would be better so we'd have more time there and get to the campus before everyone went home... We were both grumpy, he didn't print up a map to Casey's or the college... and on top of things, he thinks he saw his very first ghost that morning. He said it was a woman dressed in all white, like a dress. Great, Steve is getting visitors from the afterlife right before we are supposed to begin a trip through some of the worst-driving states in the US (Illinois drivers suck!). At least he didn't see Mothman. ;)

Usually we are great on car rides together - we are the kings of roadtripping and he is by far my favorite travel buddy. This is why we still hang out, though we aren't dating anymore. (ha! that's all you're good for, steve!) J'k but we really are road warriors. I'm the driving and he's the navigator; I have the best hi-speed midwest driving skills ("defensive driving" is a relative term) capable of dominating even the most congested hiway, and well he sucks at picking music but he's good with a map. Hee hee, j'k - I don't give him enough credit. Though I am the jiggy bomb, yo. ;) Anyway, the ride was boring and stressful. (Maybe it's because he was driving?? hee hee)

After many lane-closures, broken toilets, and scary drivers, we barely made it there before 5 - which we figured was the cutoff for us having a chance to catch up with the director. The campus didn't impress me very much. Steve liked it ok, but it was pretty much the same as Wayne State. We hung around and waited for the director dude to finish up a meeting and Steve just so happened to get lucky and catch him at the right time. After much yapping and gesturing (the guy sounded like #2 from Austin Powers - I couldn't see his body from the doorway, and all I could see was his arm moving around and his #2 voice, while Steve smiled and nodded. It made me giggle.) Steve emerged not-so-happy. There is a way he can get in if a certain professor says he should go there; otherwise, the entire gist of the conversation revolved around how great RUTGERS was (the other school he was accepted to) and why he should go there. Sounds like UIC's enviro planning program isn't even what was advertised; personally, I think Rutgers or Wayne State look better than this place, but he's still going to try and get in. Why not?

Speaking of why not, I finally completed my application to Colorado State. I had given up on their nonresponsiveness to my questions, and when they said I needed another letter of reference (one guy had said they would waive my need for a 3rd reference because I applied so late) I decided not to bother. But they just wrote me and asked if I was going to send in the third one, so I made a phone call and finished the deal. Let's see if anything comes of it. Even if I get "accepted" you still need to have someone who wants to take you on as a student (my friends got caught up in that step; I'm not hopeful) or else you'r pretty much screwed. Kindof like me and Montana State, excepted I have someone who wants to take me on but no money to fund the project she wants me to work on. Ech.

After UIC's disappointing blow, we bumbled our way through traffic to Brynn and Casey's. Steve was happy to see them - he hadn't see them in ages! That's what happens when you get a full time job - you suck. You can't go away on little trips very often anymore. This is why I avoid such an inconvenience as working. We hung out and had a good time and got fat on Peeps, Jelly Bellys, and anything else I could get a nice sugar buzz off of. (I am on a modified south beach diet with my mom to help her out, so i hadn't had sugar or bread or anything in 5 days - easter candy is the gateway to heaven, I tell ya!) Steve and I hung around Casey a little in high school but we didn't hang around Brynn much - it's amazing how much we all have in common religiously, politically,socially... Always good conversation with them!

Ran around the museum of Natural History and decided to get a terrible headache. I found out from my mom later that my sister, who is prone to migranes, also got a terrible migrane nearly the same time as I got my headache. Bizarre, no? I wouldn't consider myself psychically connected to her or anything, but maybe it was something in the weather?? She too was on a trip, but she was in Ohio with school. It got so bad and she still had a 3 hr drive and had to sit in the van by herself while everyone ate dinner. Poor thing. Nevertheless, enough drugs and mine went away, so I took the wheel.

I should have taken it as an omen when about 5 minutes into the drive I had this weird vision of an animal running in front of my car. The weird thing is that it was coming from the LEFT and not the right. I thought I was just being paranoid but I decided to be extra-dilligent in my deer lookout. Good thing too. I'm cruisin' along (at night) and I see something on the left, and.... it's a big dog! Coming from the left! It was a horrific thing to see - it looked ghostly white in the headlights, and it's big black eyes stared terrified at my headlights. I think I even held my breath for that one... I didn't even have to swerve because it stopped and stood in the left lane until I passed, but then I was even more scared because there were two very fast cars coming up behind me. I watched the rearview mirror with apprehension, expecting to see a car plow right into the big shaggy dog. I see headlights, a dog sprint across in front of the first car... more headlights... and at that point I thought I was going to see a dead dog roll onto the shoulder but it just BARELY made it. I was relieved, but my body was pumping adrenaline and once I started relaxing I realized just how scared I was for that poor dog. The chemical high wore off and my whole body was tingling and I hated it.

That doesn't happen very often and I hate the feeling. I think the last time my body did that was when I was miles into a little-used trail in Rocky Mountain on a survey during work, when I heard a noise and came across a man dressed in all dark clothes who took off running when I approached. I tried to see where he ran but he HID from me and I was all alone in the woods. I was frightened to think of why he ran andhid, and thought about how vulnerable I was in my little Park Service uniform with nobody around. Once I hightailed away from there (looking over my shoulder) my body came off that same chemical high and its such an uncomfortable feeling.

That was the most exciting thing to happen on the way home. Thank god. Ghosts and headaches and dogs... Too much bad karma!

(BTW, the pic is a naked mole rat.)

Irony, or sick joke?

Life just won't make things easy for me right now.

Which is funny, considering I am once again free to spend every hour as I wish. This time, though, I can't get paid for it - buh-bye unemployment checks. So I guess life is "easy" in the respect that I get to do whatever I want. But I want to work, and it's just not happening!

Example: I was excited to pass the test and interview for the zoo job. I originally applied in Jan, and their target hire date was March 1st. My interview was after that discarded original hire date, and I was told they would hire 4-6 people (out of 8 positions) some time in early April. I called and found out that, as of right now, they aren't hiring any positions at all!! I guess that's the way it goes when trying to work for a cash-strapped, struggling-to-revitalize city.

Irony, or sick joke? The jury's still out on that one.

Last week, I got another federal government envelope - now famous in this household - that I expected just another rejection form letter. The feds have it down to an art; they simple have a few different choices that they can check as they see fitting:

"you have been certified" (this is the "cert" that every fed-hopeful wants to get on, it means you were qualified and are one of the top candidates)

"you were qualified but not certified" (you were good, but not good enough so they didn't pass your name on to be considered)

"you were not qualified"

and it goes down from there, or says you didn't include certain things in your application

I get "qualified but not referred to officials" quite a bit. Which is what I was expecting from that offically stamped evelope last week. This time, though, it said I was certified, referred to the hiring official... but not chosen! And they only referred the top 3 people for the job... so somehow I blew a 33% chance of getting the job. At that point, they usually hire the highest ranked of the 3. But still, it was a glimmer of hope! It would have been a cool job too, in Utah at Canyonlands (near MOAB!).

But wait, there's more. Today I got another one of those fed envelopes, this one from Yellowstone. How wicked would it be to live out there for a season!? Opened the letter... Hmmm this is regarding a bio tech vegetation position... GS-5/6/7... It was a term position, which is the step between seasonal and full time. You get some benefits but it's just for a few years. What did they check?

..... Certifiedand referred to hiring official. !!!! Yeahhhh!!!! Oh wait, what's this say... "All positions are currently filled by returning employees, but in the event of an opening this cert will be used". Which means that, if there had been an opening, I would have had a really good chance of getting it. So all I gotta do is hope that someone gets fired, quits, or gets gouged by a bison so that I can get that job! Irony, or sick joke?

Sick joke.

Steve found out he was not accepted to U of M, so he is closer than ever to moving. Accepted to Rutgers but hoping to hear from Illinois - Chicago very soon. He may too be joining the migrating population of Northville kids to Chicagoland. Kirk is heading to NY, Heather is also looking to move to Chicago... Looks like I have to move too, because my friends are the only things that make these suburbs bearable!

A little cold and breezy for my tastes, but I went for a run on this sunny day. Sunny days here still don't compare to Colorado. It's usually pale blue here at best, but in Colorado the sky was vibrant blue even on a bad day. Now off to make copies of my apps to be a horticultural intern or summer cityslave with city of Ann Arbor. Being a meter reading with Novi is looking better and better, but so is hitting the road and getting lost in the Yukon.

The jock strap is ours!

The Blue Team won the women's hockey tournament! The cup is ours!

The victory comes after a hard-fought, fast paced gamed between Blue and White, who had been tied for first place this season. White scored the first two goals in the first period, but Blue rallied and responded with two goals of its own during the second and third periods. As the clock ran down, the teams frothed in anticipation of an overtime battle; however, the ice rink would not allow the extra ice time required to settle the battle in proper form. The Blue team won by default, thanks to their better overall record of 7-4-2.

.... Our trophy is a men's cup. Ya' know, like JOCKSTRAP protect-your-nuts CUP. A white cup, mounted gratiously upon a well-constructed wooden pedistle. There is even a photo album attached to it, so you can take pictures of the Cup's travels with the victors. One woman is already planning to take it on a cruise and drink out of it (which is quite a feat in itself, considering it has "ventilation holes"!!).

The whole family and Steve came to cheer us on. I thought I played my best game ever (which still isn't great) but of course mom had to shoot me down. Way to go, Mom! Grrrr. I actually had I think 2 shots on goal which is huge for me, and a very frustrating whiff or two (or more). My brother is all excited, and so he's planning summer training for me already. I think I will actually try to take some clinic - my stickhandling is more like manhandling and I do think a new smaller stick, with less curve and a smaller blade, would help. Not that I know, but I just feel it's what I need.

Instinct, yo.

Anyway, hope I get a pic of the cup to post on here so you can all see it's glory and prestige.

It was a good day. Got to see Jenna for the first time in a while; we made good plans to do lots of hiking this summer. Gotta plan a certain bachelorette party too. Sopranos was good but I think next week is looking better. My brackets fell apart after the 2nd round, but at least UConn went to the final four. Who cares about basketball anyways when the NHL PLAYOFFS start soon!!

Did I mention my car is broke? Good thing I don't have to drive all 120 miles to and from work everyday still; Focus probably wouldn't make it. It is potentially really expensive... I looked it up and it seems many Focus owners have had the same problem - I've had a creaking noise when I turn the wheel right for about 2 months, but Friday it got much worse and creaks all the time, even when I accelerate or brake and it makes the front end go up or down on the suspension. It also has a constant squeaking noise from the left wheel. It can be a few things: stabelizer bar (they replaced one when I only had 15,000 miles on my car because it was already wearing out! talk about ford quality!), CV joint, the bushing (whatever that is??) or the ball joint... I unfortunately think the squeaking is a strut gone bad, which will be sucky and expensive. I may be able to do the CV or ball joint with Steve but it's still not going to be pretty. Also gonna get a trans fluid change, and then do my own fuel filter/oil change. I can't wait until I have to replace the timing chain...

Bed time boys and girls. I had another freaky dream last night. It was about an older friend of mine, but he was probably around 20 in my dream. He had long hair in a pony tail with a bandana on, and he was with a bunch of his buddies. There were 3 hot chicks hanging off of them that they were obviously gonna hook up with. It was a motel or hotel or something, and I think they were all under the influence of something... remember it was night, and the motel had bright obnoxious-yellow lamps on the outside, the kind that automatically make everything look seedy. I was going to see my friend but realized he was with these people so I tried to leave before he saw me, but they noticed and started harassing me. He was a total jerk and acted like he hated me (we're actually pretty good friends), which hurt my feelings because I think we were dating or something in the dream. It was just a bad uncomfortable mean situation. So I went into the parking lot and they followed me, but there were a bunch of motorcycle guys there that liked me and scared my friend and his little posse. The girls had made me jealous by being with my friend, but then I realized I was way cooler than they were and that my friend was just a burnout loser. Keep in mind this whole dream took place in maybe the early 80s? Even though this friend of mine is really 10 years older, we were both around the same age. Weird time warp to envision. Funny thing is, is that I know I probably would have hated my friend if I knew him when he was 20. Kindof a stupid dream, if you ask me. I'll try to regain control of my dreams tonite and see what happens. ;)

 

dream of dying

gotta write parts of this dream down before i forget!

***can't remember everything, but i know that myself and a bunch of my friends were going to do something that involved going fast. i'm thinking it was like skydiving but there was a weird twist to it that hopefully will pop into my head later. i was watching everyone else get ready and i was very uneasy about the whole thing because i'd never done it before, and it seemed sketchy to me. i was putting on my sunglasses but then i realized i didn't know how you get your sunglasses to stay on. so i took a pair of chums (that cord that you attach to sunglasses to put them around your neck) and was trying to slip the ends over the earpieces on my glasses, but the chums were old and stretched out and ripped, so i got scared it wouldn't work. i just remember that if my sunglasses weren't secure and fell off, it would be very bad. then i realized that you wear goggles over the sunglasses instead of chums.

...something happened that i can't remember, fast forward. i was dying! i don't know if it was before or after the "skydiving", but i looked down and saw that i was bleeding, and it was getting worse. i have never had a dream where i look down and see my own blood forming a pool around me. scary. it wasn't just one injury, there was blood from different wounds and none were big. i wasn't quite panicked, i think i was shocked and worried. at first nobody thought it was serious, but then i started feeling weak and i was telling people "umm guys, we need to do something here, i'm not feeling to great". we were trying to rush to get me help but for some reason there was a hold up and it couldn't come. i wasn't the only injured one either, but i dont remember who else/why. i got weaker and weaker and i knew i was close to dying.

the only other part i remember is one married friend of mine telling me he wished he could have gotten to know me better if he had been able to.***

that's the parts i can remember. as soon as i woke up, i only remembered those bits and pieces. it wasn't a nightmare, but it was uncomfortable to say the least.

...On that note, poker night was fun again. Steve looked like Ebinezer with his big pile of chips in front of him. How fitting that he had not wanted to stay late but just couldn't bear himself to depart from his stash. Good for me, though, he got knocked out and I stayed alive to bag 3rd place and $10.20. Since I had a rebuy, I initially put in $6, I owed Steve $1... I guess I was up $3, but I think I'm now $23 overall. Hey, I thinking winning money 3 out of 4 games isn't half bad.

It's so gorgeous outside today. Time to go running. If I grew some balls, then I'd really like to try an adventure race this summer. Adv. race = a combination of outdoors sports that you compete with a partner or solo. Think orienteering, mt. biking, trail running, ropes, and canoe/kaying or something of the sort.

I can't believe I am going to say this, but there is a chance I might go back to the city of Novi for the 4th season. No, not as parks and rec but as WATER DEPT. I really like those water guys, they're mellow and nice. That, or maybe a golf course. I went to the howell nature center to see about volunteering and, to my dismay, you can't come in when YOU want, you have to come in when they want - on a schedule. i hate when place do that, they should be happy to be getting FREE LABOR but instead insist that you keep a schedule like you work there. grr. it looks like i can't do rehab because they only have "slots" for someone during the day. I may be able to feed owls Wed. evenings. They have a really nice setup for those animals there, the cages are far from eachother and built around existing trees.

It's sunny... I've gotta go running. It's a love hate relationship.

what now?

well, it's done.

after a long day of sitting totally by myself, dutifully tap-tap-tapping away on the keyboard, i told bossman that it wasn't working out for me. i guess he was very  happy with how i was doing, and impressed with my amazing typing skills, and sad to hear that i wasn't going to stick around and be his partner. i felt like such a schmuck - after being alone all day with only the cats to meow at, i was very happy to talk to him; he was happy to be home after being on the run all day. we were both in good mood but i had to go and ruin it. it made me almost reconsider quitting, because i really like the guy and think he is a great person providing a great service... i just know that it's not for me. i am either done at the end of the week, or in two weeks if nobody takes the job right away.

back to square one. what now?

bought a book on how to write magazine articles. in case ya'll haven't noticed, i enjoy writing. i almost thought about studying that in college. then again, i thought about studying engineering, architecture, landscape architecture, art, and music in college so i guess that doesn't really mean much. ;)  i don't think i'll ever have just ONE job for the rest of my life, unless it's a job that provides a variety of opportunities for me. i just get too bored too fast.

semi-related subject... so i had shown my cityworker friends some of the pictures i wanted to submit to the contest, and they of course wanted a copy for themselves. i was a bit hesitant but let them print up a spicy picture - not too revealing or anything, but still i have all this makeup on and cleavage everywhere - and i said DONT LET ANYONE FIND THIS! what happens? their boss finds it. the sexist boss that hates me (and i hate him). sometimes i want to punch tillman right in the MOUF. evil pigboss of course starts drilling tillman for answers and trying to see if i sent it over email. if i sent it over email then i'd get in trouble, see. but ah-ha! i did not do such a thing. rot in hell, pigboss.

quitter

shh, don't tell anyone. i have a secret.

i'm quitting my job.

GASP! look, i've gone and done it again. sorry kids, i don't settle for crappy jobs. if i remember correctly, i applied (and accepted) a restoration assistant job.

sounds like a fancy name for "secretary" if you ask me. anyone who knows me can understand how much of a mismatch that would be.

lisa is to secretary as george w is to president

i think you get the picture.

yeah i dont want to linger on it any longer, but that hour drive gave me plenty of time to reflect on the past week. lots and lots of LB (little bitch) duties. But i need to put that out of my mind (serenity now! serenity now!), lest i be awake all night, simmering in my anxiety. it sounded so good on paper! but between the insane commute (i'd probably die in a bout of road rage if i kept it up much longer anyway!), sitting on my arsch and answering phone messages like a secretary... i could get paid a lot more - with benefits - if i did the same thing thru Kelly Temp. It's like the secretaries at doctor's offices - just because they work there, doesn't make them doctors. just because they understand the lingo doesn't mean they can diagnose. i want to be an enviro consultant, not a seed-mixing, inventory-processing, fax wench!

see, look, there i go again. getting myself all riled up.

putting in my two weeks notice is going to suck. i'm also ticked because he wants me to make a 1 1/2 hr powerpoint presentation for a bunch of high-roller professionals. in my eyes, i dont get paid enough considering the knowledge i need to do it.

think good thoughts... happy thoughts.... well guess i can finish my parents' taxes. maybe start my freelance writing career.

you know what? it actually  makes me excited to think i might be doing landscaping again. maybe part time landscape, then volunteer at the wildlife rehab center... or even better, get the zoo job!

marc is gonna love it when he finds out i am quitting. he was surprised i lasted 3 days at that job. did i mention i have ADHD and can't sit still?

... starting to think i pinched a nerve in my neck from that hockey incident... my right side of my head is kindof numb. is that a bad thing??

keep on truckin'

believe it or not, it has been hard to find the time to write in this thing. it's not that it takes a long time to write... it's just my mind is running in its own time zone, and it's not used to putting my personal thoughts on hold during work. so by the time i get home, my brain just doesn't want to take the time to sit down and organize my thoughts in a readable, writeable manner.

i mean, just read how sloppy my entries have been since i started working last week. case point. i just wasn't meant to work, that's all.

i was meant to play. all day. every day. and get paid for it. when somebody figures out how to do this, let me know. it worked while i was on unemployment, but the government is only so generous.

maybe it's because of the hit i took/brought upon myself at hockey on sunday, but there is something jingling around loose inside my brain right now, making me unable to write coherently. i swear, i am my own worse enemy at hockey. i can't stop very well anyway, plus my skates are very dull and well, it's fun to run into people... it was a pretty good collision with the wall and made a loud, exciting noise that you expect out of a pro-hockey game (certainly not out of a rec ladies' team!) but it lacked the meaning. I mean, not like i was really checked or anything - checking is not allowed - it just comes down to what I like to call "unrefined raw talent". this just means i might suck, but i give it all the effort i have! and sometimes this means i skate hard, fast... and then either run into somebody or fall over trying to stop. falling over makes me look sucky, but running into people makes me look tough and mean. Thus, I usually choose the latter at my own bodily expense.

"Is the answer Jesus?" anybody who knows that quote is automatically awesome in my book.

I submitted my pics for the contest - if you don't know what I am talking about, then it's not for you to know (yet). I got my animal planet audition tape all set and they changed the rules on me! now i need a partner, and need to redo the tape! which is ok, my sister and i would make one bad-ass team. linda's just as firey, aggressive, and stubborn as i am. grrr baby!

work is work. actually it's not much work. it's dull. i was not meant to be a secretary. i think i say that everyday. even when i try to convince myself that sitting and not moving all day is relaxing and fun, i still end up exhausted and mentally numb. today was better - got my first experience with the seeds, mixing and filling orders, blah blah. i should be more excited, considering this is what i thought i wanted to do - environmental restoration. except i either wanted to design it, or install it. not answer phones, send faxes, and write shipping labels. i guess it's good for me to learn how to be semi-domestic, but i'd prefer digging in the dirt any day. i actually got EXCITED at a job ad looking for tree trimmers. althought it gets tedious and monotonous, i love working with my hands and being outside and working up a sweat!! i was sad to get a notice in the mail from the forest service - i've gotten used to getting letters saying i was not qualified, or not referred to the hiring official, but this one (in Utah - awesome state!) said i was considered one of the most qualified but was not chosen. So close, yet so far! and it was actually a full time GS-6 position in forestry! the coveted full-time federal position slipped from my fingers again. i've done the fish and wildlife service, and the parks service... why not forest service? i'd like to add to my collection of govt. agency hats.

i can't believe i go to bed before 11. what a sad state i have become. i was meant to be outdoors and nocturnal. me as a secretary is like a wolf in a cage - it might work for a little while, but overall it's just a sad thing.

other last minute random thoughts:

i need to touch up my tattoo, and i want to get another one. i would also like to move out, which is higher priority than tattoos. looking at apts and houses, but i'm so afraid to get into a lease because what if funding comes up for grad school? do i move to montana? do i bother going? still one-track mind: zoo. zoo. zoo. gotta get that job. know i'm not gonna get it. probably going to move to brighton to split the difference btwn my current job, and any other possible jobs i might get. would love to move to the city - downtown - but not gonna happen. hate throwing $$ away on apts but who am i kidding, i'm never going to afford a house. i'm going to spend all my money on travel, outdoors gear, and books. need to buy clipless pedals for the bike, and figure out how to use them. also need to learn how to use my bike tool for repairs - what good is the tool on the trail if you have no clue what it does? also want to get a membership to planet rock. climbing is so fun... not quite the same indoors as it was in Colorado but it will have to do. gotta run. and run. and run. realized i should have actually hopped on that ferry to alaska from seattle; now i want new zealand, peru, and belize.

i promise i'm not decending into madness with my ramblings... i just have so much on my mind that it needed to get written down before i went to bed. goodnight, ya'll.

past my bedtime

darn.

i wanted to enter a good journal entry on here, but ever since i've started working, i've already been exhausted and just lacking enough time in the day to do everything i want to get done.

example: i taped my "king of the jungle" audition tape but have yet to transfer it and edit it onto a VHS tape instead of Hi-8. it's due the 29th. can anybody say "overnight shipping"??

i wanted to update on how the job is doing but well, the job takes up nearly every hour of daylight there is. literally. yikes, i really don't know what i got myself into, and what to do about it.

good: job is boring office stuff now, but if i suck it up for a while i am very sure that it may be the most monetarily and professionally rewarding job i could ever had. i'll explain later, but for some reason boss really has taken me under his wing and wants to teach me how to be the jiggy bomb of environmental restoration and consulting. so not only is it right up my alley degree-wise, but it could also pay big $$$. did i mention i now officially have an "hourly rate" that we charge people when i work on a project for them? i've never had my own hourly rate for clients (except when i'm doing my ho-thang of course)!! i feel like i've grown because of this. (ha! just being a smart ass again)

bad: i'm not cut out to be the secretary type. if you know anything about human evolution, i am wholeheartedly convinced that i am decended from the hunter type, as opposed to the farmer type. i honestly read something once that ADHD might actually be a naturally selected-for trait in early humans, because being restless, full of energy, yadda yadda (cant remember,  if i find it i'll link to it) is a result of the hunter-type having to constantly live a nomadic, active life; whereas farmers settled down. i know i'm explaining it poorly but i will make an effort to find it, if i ever get that animal planet tape done. ;)

UPDATE: here's the link for one of the ADHD evolution essays i've read. dont ask how scientifically based it is, because i dont know and i dont care. its just neat to think about. ;)

where was i? oh yeah, bad: i'm not a good secretary. i was not meant to sit down - ESPECIALLY indoors all day. and i'm mostly by myself; we work at boss' home, so he usually goes upstairs to his living room to make phone calls while i sit in the basement by myself. fortunately he has dogs i can play with, and i even got a radio, but still - lisa is social by nature. i mean, people are stupid and sometimes bother me greatly, but i love being around them. i'm sure somebody out there understands. ;)

it's also bad because it is nearly 120 miles round trip from work. over an hour drive each way. throw in a healthy dose of ann arbor stupid-drivers and my impatient, road-rage-prone Aries personality, and voila! instant exhausted, ticked off lisa blaring a certain ludacris song while trying to avoid the black cloud coming from a beat-up old toyota going 15 under the limit in the fast lane, strategically driving next to a person in the slow lane so you can never pass. and i get off work fairly late, so i dont even get home til nearly 6. i miss the days when i worked 2 miles from my house and was home by 4:10. it's wearing on me already, believe it or not. it is stressful to have such a commute, have to sit so long in the car, and then sit in front of the computer. i'm usually a stress-free person but this kind of couped up boredom is probably the hardest thing for me to cope with. i'd rather work 10 hr days outside in extreme weather hiking up and down mountains than sit in front of a computer for 4 hours... oh wait, that's what i did in colorado, and i loved it. 'nuff said.

so much for keeping this short. congrats to heather for filling her pockets with our money at this evening's poker night! hopefully i will see tara this weekend, and kevin, beth and i were going to go climbing until we realized that planet rock is closed for a competition this weekend. woops.

blab blab blab. time for bed. had lots of crazy dreams lately, but one recurring one has got me freaked out. recurring dreams for me do sometimes have a sort of clairvoiyant abilities it seems, it hasn't happened in so long but this time, i'm not so sure. three times in the past 2 weeks, i had dreams about marc that i dont actually remember what happens in them, but i do know that when i wake up i know something bad is goign to happen to him. not to him, as in physically, but someone close to him and it will hurt him emotionally. i mean, i have dreams when people die and stuff, but i never have dreams when i wake up genuinely sorrowful and worried and full of dread. it hasn't happened in a week, but the last time it happened i just woke up and knew something bad was on its way. ireally hope it's just my imagination running wild. marc's one of those people who does truly seem like he has some special kind of "luck" or someone/something watching over him (he's nearly died a few times - appendix, car crash i think - but crazy things happen and it all turns out ok), unlike anyone i've ever met. very intruiging. he also believes that if something happens, it was meant to be - fate, i guess. hope his luck isn't running out, and i hope if somethign does happen it has nothing to do with his son.

wonder what i'll dream tonite. more zombies and witch heads trying to possess me?

some pictures

for some reason they didn't upload yesterday, so i am trying again.

silly little vixen

Heather rocks!

I just spent many half-naked hours with her, and she did an unbelieveable job with the photo shoot!

Know what I just realized? I forgot to bring the shirt i bought in chicago! that's what i was going to post a pic of on here. oh well, guess i'll substitute with this asian dominatrix picture. Look out, I bite!

I'll fill ya'll in with why exactly we had a photo shoot in the near future. in the meantime, it's past my bedtime and i have my first day of work tomorrow. yip-de-freakin'-do-dah.

cheers.

on belay?

Does this employment drama never end??

I was supposed to start the new job tomorrow... however, bossman realizes that it would be silly for me to go to this convention tuesday, and i should instead go wednesday. Alas, i have one more day to try and do everything that i have procrastinated on all year. ;)  And of course, now that I am supposed to start working, I have an interview offer with canton twp as a park ranger (sounds fun but it's only part time) and the guy from Bridger Fire finally called back! I was starting to think they didn't want me anymore, since i was supposed to hear from them over a month ago. looks like i could still pack up and get out of this sprawling hell hole suburb if i wanted to, but can't convince myself that $10/hr with an uncertain work week is enough for me to comfortably live off of. my "potential advisor" wrote back and said no new news on funding, but a few proposals under review. why does everything in life take so long when you want it, but happens too fast when it's unwelcome?

yikes, having a hard time typing cuz steve and i went to planet rock for some climbing! despite climbing a little bit all summer, i lost any bit of strength/technique/talent that i may have gained on the rock in colorado. this little girl flew up a V5 overhang while i was trying to reach for a big chunky hold on a V0. I never said i was good, i just said that i have done it. doing something, and doing something well, are not to be confused. ;)

stever was nice enough to help me tape my video for "king of the jungle 2" casting call. it was a blast! i had a good time until the last segment, i just ran out of good ideas! it was so sunny and windy outside that it just wasn't turning out as well as i hoped, but we had a good time and that's what counts. tomorrow i am getting nekkid for heather! i guess i am rolling around in water?? she's also going to help me out with my "special shoot" that i need done. hee hee. i promise i'll post some pics on here and reveal my surprise.

you do WHAT?

It's hard for me to explain what I do at my new job, since I don't actually start until Tuesday. And my first day of work involves driving 2 hrs to Grand Rapids for a soil erosion convention, dressed all business-bitch style and setting up a display for what we do. Does anyone else think it's funny that I have to explain what we do, when I'm not even totally sure what we do? It shouldn't be that bad. Lots of hottie contractors and landscapers to flirt with. Hee hee. So here is the official "job description":

********

This position will involve supervising the native seed farm and all aspects of seed and plant sales, plant propagation and any general nursery operations. Office tasks will include answering the phone, taking orders, providing estimates, spreadsheet development, report writing, and other general office tasks. This position may supervise volunteers and/or work crews on the farm and installations.

This position will also serve as an assistant ecological consultant regarding ecosystem restoration and management, natural stormwater management and treatment, natural features inventory, native species specifications, plant installation, soil bioengineering, wetland consultation, bird & mammal survey, endangered & threatened species analysis, conservation easements, grant application, and other natural solutions.

The minimum of a Bachelor's Degree is required for this position in: Botany, Ecology, Horticulture, Wildlife Biology/Habitat, Natural Resource, Plant Science, or related field. General horticultural, gardening, or farming skills are highly desirable for this position. Applicant must have excellent technical writing skills, competent knowledge of the Windows 2000 and Windows XP operating systems and excellent abilities in all Microsoft Office Professional products (Word, Excel, Access, PowerPoint, FrontPage, etc). Applicant must have some experience with reading and interpreting a variety of map formats: soils, topographical, aerial photos, NWI, and MIRIS.

Applicants should be highly motivated and possess good teamwork competence, good written and oral communication skills, ability to work with a diversity of people, self-motivated, and ability to work with minimal supervision. This position is physically demanding and may require outside work in all seasons. You must have a valid Michigan driver's license and reliable transportation (mileage will be compensated for work related travel).

Experience desired in: Nursery operations: propagating native plants and nursery maintenance; General Farming: driving tractor, harvesting and planting, IPM training; or Landscaping: planning, installation and maintenance, or Habitat Restoration: harvesting and planting native seed and plants, invasive species control, and prescribed burning; or Ecological Consulting: native plant identification, natural features identification, wetland delineation, literature and field research.

************

As you can see, it sounds very intense. Somehow, I am very qualified for this job. Guess being a jack-of-all-trades has finally paid off; who'd of thought that it would be a GOOD thing to do everything from electroshocking fish, digging up exotic plants, driving tractors, mowing turf, collecting seeds, and selling blinds and wallpaper, while possessing wildland firefighter certification and a pesticide applicator's license? What can I say, I'm a curious person. :)

Stupid Gonzaga had to go and lose like that yesterday. At least the Wings were wholloping LA when I went to bed last night. We tried to go to Planet Rock and go climbing, but they were so busy! Try again today or Monday I suppose. We had decided NOT to head north for skiing... guess what. They are getting a bit of new snow and it's great skiing conditions tomorrow. Unfortunately, Steve has an appointment tomorrow so we can't go. Ugh. I am never going to learn how to snowboard or ski!

Brackets!

I've never been a huge basketball fan; however, I love brackets. And I usually end up doing surprisingly well because I don't really have any expectations for any of the teams. I  mean, I know who is supposed to be really good, but the rest of them is just A. looking at how they are seeded B. dumb luck and C. personal bias against a state or a school. Example: if I don't know what school the abbreviations stand for, or if I've never heard of the school, I don't pick them. Why? I figure that if they were that good, I would have heard the name before. Also, I hate Texas. I did pick Texas to win, but usually I always pick against them.

Know the best part? I am absolutely rockin' the brackets this year.

As of right now, I was only wrong on 5 teams, and this first round is nearly over! I think that's pretty bloody good, especially since I didn't expect any of those teams that I got wrong to actually go on to the next round.

My final four? Gonzaga, Wake Forest, Miss St. and UConn. Miss St. takes all against Gonzaga.

If I don't like bball, why do I bother? Well, it makes me like bball temporarily. Everywhere I go, there is a game on; when I become personally concerned with the outcome, suddenly it's that much more exciting.

so much for the road trip...

Feeling Grumpy

Well, Steve and I were supposed to go on a road trip down south this weekend. So much for that.

First, it was cancelled because frankly, it's hard to be "just friends" sometimes and Steve wasn't comfortable with it. But he got over it, and we called the trip back on yesterday. We had been planning on leaving Thursday night, but we hadn't even decided where to go! Originally I wanted to go somewhere warm -  Northern Florida, Carolina coast, even the Ozarks. I wanted to hire a climbing guide so I could finally try climbing with ropes instead of bouldering all the time, but can't afford it.  I did, however, find out that you can go rafting/kayaking on the Chattooga nearly year-round. Need to remember that in the future!  Then we were just going to do some long day-hikes a little bit closer; maybe Mammoth Caves in KY, Shenandoah in VA or something within 10 hrs.  Alas, the weather was not on our side: Friday wouldn't be that warm, and Saturday it is supposed to rain nearly everywhere in the southeast.

Fine. I'm resourceful... so I thought dogsledding would be cool. The weather would be fine for it in Minnesota, northern MI, or even Ontario, Canada. But reservations are needed, and that doesn't work for my "spontaneous adventure" lack-of-planning. Fine again. We'll just suck it up and go up north, and learn how to snowboard. Well, this week was excellent - plenty of new snow up north. But then I find out that it will be 45 degrees this weekend, and that sounds like it might make for some sloppy-wet skiing. The lady at Crystal Mountain said people don't seem to mind, but I'm not driving 5 hrs to find that it's melted. Yuck. So here I am, sitting in my bedroom on my last unemployed Friday, writing about my failed trip.

It's not all lost, though. I think today I'm going to drive out to Pinckney and go for a nice wet muddy hike, and this evening we're going to try some climbing at Planet Rock. A disappointing end to my freedom, but I'm not dishing out money to drive south and get rained on. It's going to be 55 degrees and rainy here on Saturday, and my parents are out of town. "Party!" Ha ha yeah right.

So not looking forward to the new job... Bad vibes. My gut instinct is almost always right; still hoping to get the zoo job. I did write my possible advisor today at Montana State to see if there is any funding yet. Wouldn't that just be funny? I get all these full-time career job offers, and then funding comes through. How do you say no to free grad-school and project funding?? Especially when the project might involve studying ecological restoration in Yellowstone geothermal sites?

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According to Tickle, I will be married by Saturday, August 18, 2007. Yikes.  Guess I'd better meet a boy who can put up with me pretty soon. ;)